


was lost but now i'm found

by yesterdaychild



Series: Happy Eruri Week! [7]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M, Reincarnation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-31
Updated: 2013-12-31
Packaged: 2018-01-06 22:05:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1112045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yesterdaychild/pseuds/yesterdaychild
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erwin makes Levi promise to look for him in their future lives. And Levi tries, but somehow, he keeps missing by a hair's width.</p><p>Written for Day Seven of Eruri Week. Prompt: Reincarnation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	was lost but now i'm found

**Author's Note:**

> I had so much difficulty with this last one. But I hope you guys enjoy it anyway. Leave a comment if you do!
> 
> Title from 'Amazing Grace'. 
> 
> Originally posted on tumblr: http://erwindanchou.tumblr.com/post/71368278780/eruri-week-day-seven-was-lost-but-now-im-found

It was cold and wet inside the Titan’s stomach, with a strong stench of despair.

Somehow, it had come to this. Overpowered, overtaken, overcome by Titans, Levi and Erwin’s last stand ended in a complete mess of Titan bile and juices.They knew from Zoe’s research that it wouldn’t be long before they asphyxiated in there. Titans didn’t digest their meals, so most people died from suffocation, or drowning, if they hadn’t already suffered fatal injuries.Levi held Erwin’s head up above the sticky juices. The Titan had snapped its mouth shut before it could swallow them both fully, and so Erwin was one leg short from the knee, and quickly losing blood.It was all Levi could do to focus on the man before him, and not think about all the things he had somehow ended up regretting: the life they hadn’t lived together, the days they might have had together, the things he wishes he had said and done.It seemed so cruel, after all, that Erwin was likely to go first.“Promise me,” Erwin breathed, his voice nothing more than a shaky whisper, “Promise me you’ll find me.”“What?” Levi didn’t understand.“In our next lives,” Erwin mumbled. “If we have them. Look for me.”Erwin’s voice faded away, and Levi knew he was reaching that point where he didn’t have the strength to say anything. So he pulled Erwin closer, and began to murmur French lullabies from his childhood, the way he did when Erwin had nightmares.He sang until he couldn’t anymore, until Erwin’s body had gone cold and stiff in his arms, then closed his eyes and went to sleep.*

 

_one_

Inspector Levi stepped into the building, sensing the unease in the air before he even saw anything.One arm sheared off, the other leg gone. He shook his head. What a mess.“Feels like I know the guy, somehow,” he commented to his partner.Constable Zacharias sniffed the rank air and grunted. “Don’t get too attached, Levi,” he said. “One dead body’s much like the next.”*

 _two_

Levi pulled the balaclava over his head, and then nodded to his companions. “Ready,” they affirmed, and they burst out of the vehicle and into the bank.

One of them fired a shot into the air to gain attention, and there were screams as people all around started crouching to the ground.

"Don’t scream or we’ll shoot," Levi barked. "And don’t you dare try anything brave," he warned the employees standing behind the counter.

The manager inched closer to the counter in front of him, and Levi could see his arm reach for something under the table -

Levi took aim, and fired, and the manager slumped to the ground, leaving a trail of blood on the wall behind him. His colleagues cut off their own screams of terror, and they cowered as Levi went behind the counters.

"I told you not to try anything brave," Levi said off-handedly as he stepped over the manager’s body, the corpse's cheery,  _Hi, I’m Erwin Smith!_  badge now slick with its own blood.

*

 _three_

Levi looked up when he realised the groom was heading toward the altar to get ready for the bride’s appearance. He hadn’t really wanted to come, not really, but Petra had pestered him into being her date, just so her father could stop bugging her with questions about her date to her cousin’s wedding.

He felt a strange stirring of familiarity, though, when he looked up and saw the side profile of Lydia Ral’s fiancé talking to the priest at the altar, nervously adjusting his bowtie.And then the music starter playing through the speakers and the future Mrs Smith strode in on her father’s arm, a sweet blush on her cheeks. Levi’s mysterious twinge of regret about the man at the altar quickly faded as he turned to applaud the beautiful bride on her wedding day.*

 _four_

Levi sat beside the dustbins of the abandoned parking lot, watching the world swim in and out of focus. It wasn’t getting enough anymore; each hit was taking less time to wear off, and the colours were getting washed out into grey.

He heard the crunch of footsteps on gravel, and lifted his head blearily to watch the person walk by.

Except he didn’t. He stopped right by the dustbins, fumbled in his book for a card, and handed it to Levi.

"If you ever feel like leaving this behind and seeking the light of our Father’s salvation, please look for me," the man said. His hair seemed to shine gold and radiate light, and they fell into eyes of sparkling blue.

Levi shook his head a little to clear his thoughts and mumbled, “Uh. Yeah. Thanks.” Then the man bowed his head in prayer, shook his head and walked away.

Levi held the card loosely between his fingers, and a thought filtered into his head that he should keep it carefully. He looked at it, and the letters swam into view - Father Erwin Smith.

He put it in his shirt pocket. A card of that quality, maybe it’d last a few hits.

*

 _five_

Levi had dozed off some time during the car ride. He jolted awake when it pulled to a stop, and stared at the pastel-coloured building with its large windows and warm yellow light with rheumy eyes.

"Why have you brought me to a childcare?" Levi scolded the young woman who had driven him there.

"It’s not a childcare, gramps, it’s your new home," she chided after she had opened his door.

"Don’t touch me, I don’t even know you," he snapped as she reached for his arm to help him out. 

She sighed as if she had heard this many, many times before, her black hair falling between her eyes. “Just don’t fall down, okay gramps?”

He was growing deeply uneasy and suspicious of this place. It felt like a nursery, but it was all full of old people, and something at the back of his mind struggled to tell him about the kind of place this was. But it was a sluggish effort. He felt small and weak in his own head again.

He was brought to his room, where another old man was pottering around. He might have been tall before he had developed stooped shoulders, and his hair maintained an undercut that Levi thought looked silly for one with so little hair.

"This is your new roommate, okay gramps?" The young woman fussed over him. "Now don’t be a nuisance, I’ll be here to see you every week."

"Go away," he said testily. 

When the door swung close, Levi squinted at the old man he would be sharing a room with for the rest of (one of) their lives.

"I don’t know you, do I?" he asked.

The other man came forward to introduce himself. “Erwin,” he said, raising a thickly-veined, trembly hand for Levi to shake.

"Don’t know anyone called that," Levi muttered, shrugging and turning away.

*

 _and one_

“I’m just waiting for the right one, okay?” Levi mumbled.“Whatever,” Zoe rolled her eyes. “If I don’t pull you out on dates, you’ll spend the rest of your life in that room.”

 

Levi sighed. “Okay, so who is this guy and which ditch did you pull him out of?”

Zoe giggled excitedly. “This one isn’t one of my charity cases,” she said. “He’s a friend of Nanaba’s. Just got into town, wants to meet people here. He’s cute,” she sighed. 

Levi gave an exasperated sigh in return. Truth be told, he felt he had been waiting his whole life for somebody, but it frustrated him that he couldn’t put a face or a name to it. Anyway, he couldn’t possibly tell Zoe that he was experiencing this kind of hippie shit - she would get overexcited and bring him to a seance or something. So he humoured her every time she tried to set him up on yet another horrible date.

Something clicked inside of him, though, when he entered the gallery where Nanaba’s art was being exhibited and saw only one man inside. One tall, blonde man, hands in the pockets of his blazer, that stirred a dormant feeling of longing and passion that Levi had never even know he’d had.

“I’ve found you,” Levi said, the crack in his voice echoing in the gallery.The man at the painting stiffened, his silhouette so, so familiar and unmistakable.Erwin turned around, eyes wide with wonderment. “And so you have,” he said, voice choking with emotion as Levi made one step forward, and then burst into his arms.


End file.
